Out in India again!

Hej everybody!
The last FIVE WEEKS I've been staying at Sadhana forest. I can't believe I was there for so long. The time went flying by and it was hard to leave. Staying at the forest was like a trip out of India. Living amongst many lovely foreign friends was great but it didn't feel like India. So now I've ventured out again and find myself back in the noise of India.

I've also taken on a new traveling approach. Many of my friends have told me about their experiences of India (and other experiences) and how they let its energy take them away . With the Universe/inner self/wind/ intuition as their guide. No plans, no guide books. Well I told myself that I would do this "sometime". That I'd like to do this and I've realized that I don't have so much time left. So I've been trying it. Trying to listen and see where it takes me. Frankly, it has been a bit stressful. I find myself so indecisive and unsure. I just don't hear it or feel sure about things. However, lately, I think I've been doing something right. I've worked out staying with a family outside of Kodaikanal, came across a conservation organization that I think I will volunteer with and was reminded about a Zen center that looks quite interesting. I found myself saying " What am I looking for". And I feel like it is becoming more clear. I'm looking for Yoga or some sort of spiritual teaching for I think India is a good place for it. I'm also looking for living with local people and for helping out. All seem to be coming to me.

In my times of uncertainty I also felt like I was wasting my time with this Universe guiding business. Now I'm feeling more sure it isn't a waste of time. Many people talk about their "intuition" and how they get strong feelings to do or not do something. I've never really felt that and now I'm practicing. I'm all ears. And what I find is that I'm giving myself more time to talk with people. More credit and energy to thoughts such as " let's try going this way". It's feels strange to not have any certain plans (for I'm allowing the plans I am making to be changed at any moment) but it is also very freeing. I feel like I've got loads of time to explore and wander.
And as far as time wasting, I think I've got strong desires to be efficient with my time, all the time. But this won't necessary allow me to do what I'd most like to do. So often I've planned things right up so that when really interesting things come along I'm pretty restricted it changing "The Plan". I'm starting to believe the universe provides us with what we need and it is usually way better than we could imagine or plan for ourselves.

So for now I'm in Kodaikanal, which reminds me of Victoria, BC: Cool damp weather, Old English buildings, flower gardens all around, and beautiful forests along narrow side streets. In the next few weeks I suppose I could be volunteering here or spending some time at the Bodhi center (bodhizendo.org) or somewhere entirely different. If the plan does change I'll try to keep you ( Mom and Dad) updated.

Peace and love and try listening if you can,
Kelly